One thing that has made this week so wonderful is that, tuesday through friday, just before I was fully dressed and heading out the door for work, I had the urge to take a dump. Furthermore, I actually DID take a dump at home, which meant my fifteen minute morning breaks didn't need to be used up in the shitter.

The men's room on my floor, by the way, only has two stalls, and it's shared by probably 100 dudes. The toilet has a scooped seat, so you sink in and back when you sit down to crap, and it messes up the non-contoured seat liner, which starts to slip between your legs and dip in to the back of the toilet. Then you lean forward and the toilet flushes automatically because it's, well, an automatic toilet, and it throws a fountain of dirty toilet water up your butthole and on to your ass cheeks. Plus, the actual toilets are maybe two feet apart and are separated by a thin metal wall, and there's always another bloke taking a dump when you're in there, so you can hear absolutely everything coming out of him. Like that moist crackling of the doody slipping out. I hate shitting at work.

Luckily I went four for five. Great week.