mathyou (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mathyou) wrote,@ 2005-11-20 15:43:00 |
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I'm quite offended. I just saw the new issue of Men's Health magazine with Adrien Brody on the cover. He's got his shirt off and he's smiling, and the headline reads, "SCRAWNY to BRAWNY!"
Being a thin, white, North American man, I'm obsessed with other thin, white, North American men who are perceived as attractive or sexy. This means that I've been aware of Adrien Brody since his break out in Spike Lee's Summer of Sam. From what I can tell - and I just watched Adrien Brody in Oxygen, which was released in 1999, the same year as SoS - the guy hasn't gained any weight at all. He's always been thin and incredibly muscular, and the picture of the guy on Men's Health shows absolutely nothing in contrast. He's just as thin, and just as ripped.
What is this ridiculous obsession we have in this country with masculinity being associated with girth? I love watching French and Italian and even British movies movies from the '60's and '70's where male protagonists, like Alan Delon or David Hemmings or Michael Caine, aren't these ridiculously ripped, creatin-dripping neanderthals. They're regular dudes who have PERSONALITY and are sexy. David Hemmings is a MUTANT! But when he starts banging chicks in Blow Up, it makes total sense. He's sexy.
In the '90's, when Pulp had touched Britain with its brilliance, I could not have been a bigger Jarvis Cocker fan. Nor could my girlfriend at the time. She was in Iowa City one weekend and found a black-and-white poster of Jarvis really belting out a line, his spindly little legs twisted in to each other like a little kid ramming pretzel sticks together. I showed the poster to my sister and she goes, "Ew! Who's that guy? He's ugly. He looks like a nerd" Certainly, Jarvis Cocker isn't the handsomest man around, and he does have a generically nerdy look (as do most Indie Rock Dudes, which is one of the exact defining traits of an Indie Rock Dude), but the guy is sexy. I bet that guy bangs like a pirate, and I bet he's administered an incredible amount of orgasms. Vin Diesel, on the other hand - if he is straight, that is, which I'm thoroughly unconvinced of - appears to not even know how to kiss a chick. There's a scene in XxX where he's making out with Asia Argento (another person who isn't distinctly attractive, and is incredibly skanky, but is still uber sexy) and it looks like he's trying to lick the placenta off a newborn deer. It's offensive.
Now, I'm not saying that if you're a beefy guy who spends most of your time in the gym, you're a lousy lay, or if you're an emaciated geek you're great in the sack. What I am saying is, beauty is only skin deep, and this concept that sexiness and masculinity being proportional to girth is absolutely ridiculous. I've fucked around with so many hot chicks who just didn't know what they were doing, and I've fucked around with, well, chicks who were hot but were also sexy and had something much deeper going on, and they were incredible.
I hope Adrien Brody is pissed over that Men's Health issue. I hope he makes a statement. It's great to see people like Brody (and - at last - Patrick Dempsey) being recognized as sexy. Maybe we're getting some taste again in this country. Although that's doubtful. Have you seen the fucking "OC?"
Being a thin, white, North American man, I'm obsessed with other thin, white, North American men who are perceived as attractive or sexy. This means that I've been aware of Adrien Brody since his break out in Spike Lee's Summer of Sam. From what I can tell - and I just watched Adrien Brody in Oxygen, which was released in 1999, the same year as SoS - the guy hasn't gained any weight at all. He's always been thin and incredibly muscular, and the picture of the guy on Men's Health shows absolutely nothing in contrast. He's just as thin, and just as ripped.
What is this ridiculous obsession we have in this country with masculinity being associated with girth? I love watching French and Italian and even British movies movies from the '60's and '70's where male protagonists, like Alan Delon or David Hemmings or Michael Caine, aren't these ridiculously ripped, creatin-dripping neanderthals. They're regular dudes who have PERSONALITY and are sexy. David Hemmings is a MUTANT! But when he starts banging chicks in Blow Up, it makes total sense. He's sexy.
In the '90's, when Pulp had touched Britain with its brilliance, I could not have been a bigger Jarvis Cocker fan. Nor could my girlfriend at the time. She was in Iowa City one weekend and found a black-and-white poster of Jarvis really belting out a line, his spindly little legs twisted in to each other like a little kid ramming pretzel sticks together. I showed the poster to my sister and she goes, "Ew! Who's that guy? He's ugly. He looks like a nerd" Certainly, Jarvis Cocker isn't the handsomest man around, and he does have a generically nerdy look (as do most Indie Rock Dudes, which is one of the exact defining traits of an Indie Rock Dude), but the guy is sexy. I bet that guy bangs like a pirate, and I bet he's administered an incredible amount of orgasms. Vin Diesel, on the other hand - if he is straight, that is, which I'm thoroughly unconvinced of - appears to not even know how to kiss a chick. There's a scene in XxX where he's making out with Asia Argento (another person who isn't distinctly attractive, and is incredibly skanky, but is still uber sexy) and it looks like he's trying to lick the placenta off a newborn deer. It's offensive.
Now, I'm not saying that if you're a beefy guy who spends most of your time in the gym, you're a lousy lay, or if you're an emaciated geek you're great in the sack. What I am saying is, beauty is only skin deep, and this concept that sexiness and masculinity being proportional to girth is absolutely ridiculous. I've fucked around with so many hot chicks who just didn't know what they were doing, and I've fucked around with, well, chicks who were hot but were also sexy and had something much deeper going on, and they were incredible.
I hope Adrien Brody is pissed over that Men's Health issue. I hope he makes a statement. It's great to see people like Brody (and - at last - Patrick Dempsey) being recognized as sexy. Maybe we're getting some taste again in this country. Although that's doubtful. Have you seen the fucking "OC?"
