mathyou (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mathyou) wrote,@ 2006-03-27 01:03:00 |
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New Daddy
The time has finally come for me to meet my girlfriend's kid. (My girlfriend has a kid, by the way.) For some reason I was holding out until the six month mark - God knows why that time limit stuck in my head - but after not having my baby around for a week (she was in England), and being completely isolated during that week, and then having her come back and say that she's going to have her kid pretty much all the time for the next few weeks, I've realized that I'm a lonely, miserable bastard who only finds absolute comfort in life by being a lonely, miserable bastard, and I really should attempt to spend some of my down time with the person I love, even if that means I'll be spending it with her three year-old daughter as well, because no man is an island, and if I continue to only see her at work and spend my outside-of-work time alone, I will whither in to an even more anti-social bastard, and will know nothing more in the world but obsessive movie trivia. You know you're miserable when you don't even want to drink because it involves leaving your house.
Now, I've been very...not afraid, but I guess cautious...of this situation. I don't want to be a surrogate father, and I don't want anyone to think I'm their surrogate father. But my lady and I have mulled things over and decided that if we treat the situation as if I'm a friend (and not a boyfriend, per se, although I think some minor contact is acceptable), and I don't sleep over, and I'm not known as "New Daddy," or anything like that, that this will work out quite well. Or it will at least be a step in the right direction.
I'm very proud of myself that I've made it to a point in my life where I can recognize my ridiculous behavior, and turn it around. This is exactly the girl I've been looking for, so I shouldn't be miserable, but I'm so used to being miserable and alone and not needing anyone that I continue to make excuses to be miserable, and one of those excuses is, "I don't want to hurt a kid," and it's as clear as day right now that there's a way to date someone with a kid and meet their kid and not be a surrogate dad and still be comfortable. I'm excited to meet the kid.
Boy does this beat banging hot 22 year-olds.
The time has finally come for me to meet my girlfriend's kid. (My girlfriend has a kid, by the way.) For some reason I was holding out until the six month mark - God knows why that time limit stuck in my head - but after not having my baby around for a week (she was in England), and being completely isolated during that week, and then having her come back and say that she's going to have her kid pretty much all the time for the next few weeks, I've realized that I'm a lonely, miserable bastard who only finds absolute comfort in life by being a lonely, miserable bastard, and I really should attempt to spend some of my down time with the person I love, even if that means I'll be spending it with her three year-old daughter as well, because no man is an island, and if I continue to only see her at work and spend my outside-of-work time alone, I will whither in to an even more anti-social bastard, and will know nothing more in the world but obsessive movie trivia. You know you're miserable when you don't even want to drink because it involves leaving your house.
Now, I've been very...not afraid, but I guess cautious...of this situation. I don't want to be a surrogate father, and I don't want anyone to think I'm their surrogate father. But my lady and I have mulled things over and decided that if we treat the situation as if I'm a friend (and not a boyfriend, per se, although I think some minor contact is acceptable), and I don't sleep over, and I'm not known as "New Daddy," or anything like that, that this will work out quite well. Or it will at least be a step in the right direction.
I'm very proud of myself that I've made it to a point in my life where I can recognize my ridiculous behavior, and turn it around. This is exactly the girl I've been looking for, so I shouldn't be miserable, but I'm so used to being miserable and alone and not needing anyone that I continue to make excuses to be miserable, and one of those excuses is, "I don't want to hurt a kid," and it's as clear as day right now that there's a way to date someone with a kid and meet their kid and not be a surrogate dad and still be comfortable. I'm excited to meet the kid.
Boy does this beat banging hot 22 year-olds.
